FOOD FOR THOUGHT

[Duchess]

So..I'm roasting a turkey. I know how it's done and it's not being stuffed so it's a piece of cake. I got this. As I lift it to put it in the sink I can feel how fleshy it is and I begin to think about roasting flesh and meat juices and I start to get a little skeeved but I had prepared myself for this and I moved on to removing the packaging. I stuck the knife in to make a tear so I could pull the packaging off. I didn't want to stab the bird but by my third unsuccessful attempt I thrust the knife in and ripped down AND ALL THIS BROWN STUFF BEGAN FLOWING OUT! HOLY FUCK.

I had punctured the gravy package.

Does cooking always have to be a goddamn production.