FOOD FOR THOUGHT

[Duchess]

Do you drink milk? That's a general "you".

[sally]

No I'm not a big fan. I only like it with cereal once in a while. I'll eat the hell out of some cheese though so I'm sure I'm getting my dairy intake.

No one in my family really likes to drink straight up milk so it always ends up going bad whenever I buy it. I know other people who chug it by the gallon.

[BigMark]

Half and half for coffee is about it, wierd, ten years ago I loved drinking milk.

[Duchess]

it always ends up going bad whenever I buy it.

It's like that with bread in my house. If I could buy ¹⁄₄ loaves of bread, I would.

[Duchess]

So..I'm roasting a turkey. I know how it's done and it's not being stuffed so it's a piece of cake. I got this. As I lift it to put it in the sink I can feel how fleshy it is and I begin to think about roasting flesh and meat juices and I start to get a little skeeved but I had prepared myself for this and I moved on to removing the packaging. I stuck the knife in to make a tear so I could pull the packaging off. I didn't want to stab the bird but by my third unsuccessful attempt I thrust the knife in and ripped down AND ALL THIS BROWN STUFF BEGAN FLOWING OUT! HOLY FUCK.

I had punctured the gravy package.

Does cooking always have to be a goddamn production.

[Maggot]

Gravy package?

[Duchess]

Yup. It said to add it to the pan drippings after I remove the turkey.

[Maggot]

I've seen giblets in a package and the neck but never a package of gravy. Shows what I know.

[Duchess]

Shows what I know.

I could say the same given my WTF reaction to it. It was fuckin revolting the way it spilled out. I think I hollered out loud.

[sally]

They make turkey and gravy for retards now. If you bothered to look at the package you would have seen that it said " turkey and gravy for retards". It's retard proof and you still somehow fucked it up.

[sally]

Why the fuck would you use a knife to take the packaging out anyway? Who does that? You pull it out with your hand. It's a turkey, not a vagina.

[Duchess]

I used the knife to start a hole so I could pull the packaging away. How do you get it off the turkey?

[sally]

Really? You stick your hand up it's ass and pull it out. The packaging of gizzards and dicks, and hearts and lungs and what have you are usually in the cavity of the bird.

Do you mean the gravy packet was on top of the bird in the package? Well then what did you expect to come out of it when you stabbed it with a knife?

[Duchess]

I'm not talking about all the yuck gut stuff inside the bird. Jesus Sally, I know about that. I'm talking about getting the plastic or whatever the hell that is, off the bird. How was I supposed to know that gravey package was included. Goddam I googled roast turkey before I began.

[sally]

Well of course you cut the wrapper off with a knife. I guess they played a dirty trick on you and hid a gravy filled packet right at the spot where you'd cut the turkey out of the package. They're probably getting a real good laugh out of it down at the plant.

Normally this stuff is inside of the turkey cavity so I thought you meant you gutted it with a knife.

[blueberryhill]

They make turkey and gravy for retards now. If you bothered to look at the package you would have seen that it said " turkey and gravy for retards". It's retard proof and you still somehow fucked it up.

What she said! Hilarious.....Jeez, I didn't even know they sold turkeys with gravy......and it isn't even Thanksgiving or Christmas...

[Duchess]

Well of course you cut the wrapper off with a knife. I guess they played a dirty trick on you and hid a gravy filled packet right at the spot where you'd cut the turkey out of the package. They're probably getting a real good laugh out of it down at the plant.

Normally this stuff is inside of the turkey cavity so I thought you meant you gutted it with a knife.

Fuck that turkey & fuck you too. Goddamn fiasco.

[Duchess]

What she said! Hilarious.....

What are you laughing at?

[sally]

Fuck that turkey & fuck you too. Goddamn fiasco.[/i][/size]

Are you sure it wasn't a ham and you accidentally punctured the glaze packet?

[Duchess]

Are you sure it wasn't a ham and you accidentally punctured the glaze packet?

I know the difference between a turkey & a ham, woman.

Fucking cooking bullshit. Christ on a cracker.