AS A FAMILY

[Midwest Spy]

Why does it take men so long to poop?!?! It's a freak in production. Just get in and do your business.

No, reading on the shitter is mandatory.

When your legs fall asleep it's time to get out.

[sally]

I don't read in the bathroom and I refuse to keep any reading material next to the toilet. Good thing for my husband he has his phone.

I've seen dirty magazines in people's bathrooms before and I don't know what to think other than these people are fucking weird.

[FAHQTOO]

Why does it take men so long to poop?!?! It's a freak in production. Just get in and do your business.

No, reading on the shitter is mandatory.

When your legs fall asleep it's time to get out.

So you like to sit in there forever and smell your own shit...that's nice.

[Midwest Spy]

Why does it take men so long to poop?!?! It's a freak in production. Just get in and do your business.

No, reading on the shitter is mandatory.

When your legs fall asleep it's time to get out.

So you like to sit in there forever and smell your own shit...that's nice.

Yeah, you women just don't understand the appeal.

[Clang McFly]

...me too.

I think I understand her this time. She was responding to Clang saying it takes him at least 30 minutes to shit, shower and shave. We all know that he only takes a shower on Sundays and that's only in the summer. So most of that 30 minutes every morning is dedicated to him just shitting, which lead her to the question of why do men take so long to poop. I've noticed the same thing myself actually.

Dafuq? I have a job which requires I shower at least 4-5 days a week.I'd get fired rather quickly if I came to work filthy. I only spend about 10 minutes or less shitting, because when I read on the shitter my butt and feet fall asleep. I imagine it takes me 10 minutes or more to shower because I have a lot of surface area to wash.

[Duchess]

Yeah, you women just don't understand the appeal.

Sitting in a stinky bathroom above a pile of poop while reading holds a great deal of allure. You know I'm down with that.

How does this happen? How? Why does everything lead back to poop? I'm not exaggerating. Now I have these images in my mind and it's a horror. I don't want to know about poop. It should be hidden, just like breastfeeding mothers should be hidden. Christ on a cracker, people.

[SIXFOOTERsez]

Why does it take men so long to poop?!?! It's a freak in production. Just get in and do your business.

No, reading on the shitter is mandatory.

When your legs fall asleep it's time to get out.

So you like to sit in there forever and smell your own shit...that's nice.

Yeah, you women just don't understand the appeal.

I have never understood that kind of thinking, I don't think there are any less appealing places to read, anywhere.
I don't exactly shit roses, so I get in, take care of business and get out, with a little spray of air freshner

[Maggot]

A courtesy flush goes a long way.

[Donovan]

Hate to break it to you Duchess but when I spent several extended periods of time living "off the grid", with no electronic, no tv, no form of entertainment except gathering around the evening campfire before bed...when all social constructs are stripped away mankind's most basic elements of survival are sleep, drink, eat, and poop. Even sex is distant fifth place because in a pinch you don't HAVE to do that. But if you skip any of the others there is a real problem.

[Duchess]

You people are killin' me. I cannot believe this shit.

[Donovan]

Basic daily campfire conversation:

Hey.

Hey.

Jeet?

No. Jew?

Yeah, saved you some. Japoop?

Yeah, finally.

Aw way to go man. Bout time.

Yeah. Night.

Night...

[Duchess]

Hahaha!

[sally]

Shitting out in the middle of the woods on a makeshift toilet while reading an old Sports Illustrated magazine is how I dream of spending my days.

[Donovan]

Funny thing. Those doomsday scenarios and apocalypse stories never really address that reality.

[Donovan]

Ps to Sally. If you find yourself having to shit on a makeshift toilet in the middle of nowhere and you're lucky enough to have an old magazine handy...you probably aren't using it to read. If anything you're repeatedly crumbling one page into a ball and smoothing it out because regular paper gets softer and more absorbent that way and hurts less. Don't ask how I know this.

[Duchess]

I spent several extended periods of time living "off the grid", with no electronic, no tv, no form of entertainment except gathering around the evening campfire before bed...when all social constructs are stripped away

I've been thinking about this. When you say extended period of time are you talking years? I might be able to do that for a little while. I like to go camping or I did when I used to do that kinda thing and I have a real affinity for the outdoors. On my terms I think I could handle it for a little while.

Could y'all do that? Live off the grid for awhile?

[sally]

Ps to Sally. If you find yourself having to shit on a makeshift toilet in the middle of nowhere and you're lucky enough to have an old magazine handy...you probably aren't using it to read. If anything you're repeatedly crumbling one page into a ball and smoothing it out because regular paper gets softer and more absorbent that way and hurts less. Don't ask how I know this.

And waste my only form of morning entertainment? I'd also have a makeshift bidet next to my toilet.

[username]

I've been thinking about this. When you say extended period of time are you talking years? I might be able to do that for a little while. I like to go camping or I did when I used to do that kinda thing and I have a real affinity for the outdoors. On my terms I think I could handle it for a little while.

Could y'all do that? Live off the grid for awhile?

I wouldn't mind "going off the grid" for a bit provided I have all my creature comforts. I'm not talking cell phones, computers etc...I'm talking a warm bed, a hot shower, shelter, lighting etc. I'd enjoy the quiet for a time but only if the environment were comfortable for me.

[Blindgreed1]

Do you and your families all get up in the morning & eat breakfast together? Kiss each other goodbye? If I saw how your mornings go down would it be like the idea of suburbia that Hollywood has given me - a cross between the Cleavers and the Stepford wives?

I get up at 5:20, sometimes I have coffee, sometimes not. I watch the news to see what horrors have occurred since the previous morning. I scratch, make the day's gameplan in my head. Get ready for work and wake up my daughter at about 7 before I head off to work to tell her I love her. We usually eat dinner together if we can and then she argues about what dishes she feels she shouldn't have to wash before bed.

[sally]

I wouldn't mind "going off the grid" for a bit provided I have all my creature comforts. I'm not talking cell phones, computers etc...I'm talking a warm bed, a hot shower, shelter, lighting etc. I'd enjoy the quiet for a time but only if the environment were comfortable for me.

Would you also like to fuck Grizzly Adams? That's not the way it works, you fucking clown. You don't get hot showers and electricity when you go off the grid and live off the land. You have to wash your ass in a stream.