Victim Blaming

[Blindgreed1]

My friend Kami Van Halst wrote this song to raise awareness to victim blaming. I personally think women should be allowed to wear whatever they want, have a few drinks and not have to worry about being raped. Society feels differently though. What are your thoughts on the subject? Should these things (drinks and attire) ever be considered for a sex crime? Has any woman ever "asked for it?"

[OnBendedKnee]

"Society feels differently, though."
I'd challenge that. I don't even think it's most of the society- yet rather a small segment of it.

Doesn't diminish the importance of your point though as there should be a zero tolerance.

[Love Child]

Ask yourself this blindgreed1, have you ever given your clothing a second thought before going out? Wondering if perhaps it could be sending the "wrong message"?
Have you ever not gone somewhere, walked somewhere, or not parked your car somewhere for a slight thought even in the back of your head that you could be assaulted or raped?
I mean some guys might think about defending themselves from an assault or attack-but have you ever been told to park near the lights, look under your vehicle as you approach it, etc etc....
It is as if I didn't do these things then well I can expect to be raped or assaulted because I parked in a dark area of the parking lot, didn't look under my car, was wearing heels and a skirt and so that gave a person a right to assault me and in a court of law-these things would come up.

In these cases the woman is blamed for doing these things-hell why the hell was she out of her house by herself? And if she was in her house, were all of her doors and windows locked?

Nice song by the way.

Even though I think people should be able to wear what they want and drink what they want-if I had a daughter I would teach her how the world is and to protect herself, and I hate that. I would want to be able to raise a son and a daughter in the same way and I probably would, but I think there would be a difference, but there shouldn't be. I would want to raise them up with confidence and not to take any shit from anyone.

[cannongal]

I personally think women should be allowed to wear whatever they want, have a few drinks and not have to worry about being raped. Society feels differently though. What are your thoughts on the subject? Should these things (drinks and attire) ever be considered for a sex crime? Has any woman ever "asked for it?"

In no scenario whatsoever should rape considered "Asked for"

As a cocktail waitress-bartender for 15 years, I can say this-

Some women need to hold themselves to much higher standards in a bar. I have seen a lot of women come in wearing the shortest skirts and tightest shirts, and grind on men, and flaunt their boobs to get free drinks all night, -I've seen guys get pissed when they realize they spent so much money on the purty little thing that just walked out the door.


In a perfect world, we'd all be able to walk around nekkid, and nobody'd give you a second look. However, we live in a society where men like looking at tits and ass, mix it with alcohol and sometimes you end up with a recipe for disaster.

Most men think with the wrong head at bars, Maybe there should be a public awareness campaign about not buying women drinks and expecting them to put out after they grind on you. Put up little posters for the men's room and such. They can put it right next to the condom machine.

[sally]

Most men think with the wrong head at bars, Maybe there should be a public awareness campaign about not buying women drinks and expecting them to put out after they grind on you. Put up little posters for the men's room and such. They can put it right next to the condom machine.

Just don't have the posters with all black men raping white women. Make sure it's evened out with black and white guys doing the raping.

[Duchess]

I'm a hypocrite about this kind of thing. I don't much like it owning that, I'm just being honest. I don't think any woman ever asks for it, I want to be clear on that.

There is this woman that I see online, her name is Amber Rose. She dresses extremely provocative, she talks like that too, she twerks up against men, she makes comments about what their balls smell like, etc. She has a "walk" that she does to raise awareness about slut shaming. She doesn't like being called a slut because of how she dresses, because of how she presents herself and because of how she talks. My feeling is, if you're going to act like a slut, talk like a slut, dress like a slut, you have no business complaining when you're treated like a slut. This "walk" came about because she heard a cop say that a woman who had been raped, had asked for it because of her provocative nature, it was because of how she was dressed.

Some women put themselves in the position to be raped. You cannot spend hours grinding up against a man and letting him touch you and then cry foul when he takes what you have been offering.

That kinda makes me feel like a traitor to my own species by saying that.

[SIXFOOTERsez]

I also think some women put their self is very risky situations doing just what Duchess and Cannongal stated, having run in bars and the like for much of my adult life I have seen it many times and even been the one buying the drinks and going home with blueballs at the end. I think its a shitty to treat someone, but I would Never step over that line no matter what.
I don't know that I would blame the victim, ever, but some damn sure participate in their destruction.

[Donovan]

There is no excuse for people who rape, however, if I was a rich man I wouldn't go strolling down dark alleys drunk with money hanging out of my pockets. There is a point at which one must exercise common sense. Just because people are not supposed to act like savages doesn't mean they won't. The right to go unmolested doesn't extend to fools. Of either sex.

[sally]

I agree.

[blueberryhill]

well, geez louise.......i didn't know I was supposed to "put out" just because those guys bought me drinks. I just drank them and left after saying Thank You, of course. I did learn myself some manners.....

I don't think I owned anything provocative, I just wore my ordinary clothes which were usually in style, but certainly not like some of the clothes I see today on young ladies....I know I am sounding like an old coot, but they didn't make clothes like that back in the 50's.....and girls still got raped....but the common denominator was and is the booze......it can be as dangerous to our girls and grandaughters as drinking and driving.....Yes, I think we need to have the talk as someone earlier mentioned.

P.S. Sally, I never walked 10 miles in the snow barefooted, but i did walk a mile in the snow wearing penny loafers....I arrived at school with a windburn and rosy cheeks, though......

[Blindgreed1]

Ask yourself this blindgreed1, have you ever given your clothing a second thought before going out? Wondering if perhaps it could be sending the "wrong message"?
Have you ever not gone somewhere, walked somewhere, or not parked your car somewhere for a slight thought even in the back of your head that you could be assaulted or raped?
I mean some guys might think about defending themselves from an assault or attack-but have you ever been told to park near the lights, look under your vehicle as you approach it, etc etc....
It is as if I didn't do these things then well I can expect to be raped or assaulted because I parked in a dark area of the parking lot, didn't look under my car, was wearing heels and a skirt and so that gave a person a right to assault me and in a court of law-these things would come up.

In these cases the woman is blamed for doing these things-hell why the hell was she out of her house by herself? And if she was in her house, were all of her doors and windows locked?

Nice song by the way.

Even though I think people should be able to wear what they want and drink what they want-if I had a daughter I would teach her how the world is and to protect herself, and I hate that. I would want to be able to raise a son and a daughter in the same way and I probably would, but I think there would be a difference, but there shouldn't be. I would want to raise them up with confidence and not to take any shit from anyone.

No, but please understand you're asking someone who has a "Jesus was a cunt" Cradle of Filth T-shirt.

[Blindgreed1]

I personally think women should be allowed to wear whatever they want, have a few drinks and not have to worry about being raped. Society feels differently though. What are your thoughts on the subject? Should these things (drinks and attire) ever be considered for a sex crime? Has any woman ever "asked for it?"

In no scenario whatsoever should rape considered "Asked for"

As a cocktail waitress-bartender for 15 years, I can say this-

Some women need to hold themselves to much higher standards in a bar. I have seen a lot of women come in wearing the shortest skirts and tightest shirts, and grind on men, and flaunt their boobs to get free drinks all night, -I've seen guys get pissed when they realize they spent so much money on the purty little thing that just walked out the door.


In a perfect world, we'd all be able to walk around nekkid, and nobody'd give you a second look. However, we live in a society where men like looking at tits and ass, mix it with alcohol and sometimes you end up with a recipe for disaster.

Most men think with the wrong head at bars, Maybe there should be a public awareness campaign about not buying women drinks and expecting them to put out after they grind on you. Put up little posters for the men's room and such. They can put it right next to the condom machine.

Those women are engaging in sexually explicit behavior. That's not what I'm talking about here.

[Blindgreed1]

I'm a hypocrite about this kind of thing. I don't much like it owning that, I'm just being honest. I don't think any woman ever asks for it, I want to be clear on that.

There is this woman that I see online, her name is Amber Rose. She dresses extremely provocative, she talks like that too, she twerks up against men, she makes comments about what their balls smell like, etc. She has a "walk" that she does to raise awareness about slut shaming. She doesn't like being called a slut because of how she dresses, because of how she presents herself and because of how she talks. My feeling is, if you're going to act like a slut, talk like a slut, dress like a slut, you have no business complaining when you're treated like a slut. This "walk" came about because she heard a cop say that a woman who had been raped, had asked for it because of her provocative nature, it was because of how she was dressed.

Some women put themselves in the position to be raped. You cannot spend hours grinding up against a man and letting him touch you and then cry foul when he takes what you have been offering.

That kinda makes me feel like a traitor to my own species by saying that.

She sounds like she's got a little crazy in her.

[Donovan]

We live in a culture that hypersexualizes children, glorifies and represses healthy sexual identity simultaneously, and encourages women to treat sex as a bartered commodity while teaching men that it's a matter of conquest. If we live in a rape culture it's one we created for ourselves and we all share the blame for it.

[Blindgreed1]

We live in a culture that hypersexualizes children, glorifies and represses healthy sexual identity simultaneously, and encourages women to treat sex as a bartered commodity while teaching men that it's a matter of conquest. If we live in a rape culture it's one we created for ourselves and we all share the blame for it.

At least we know who to blame now. Thanks Dono.

[Donovan]

Don't mention it FOTY.

[Blindgreed1]

Don't mention it FOTY.

Hippie.

[Donovan]

Nugent.

[Love Child]

Ask yourself this blindgreed1, have you ever given your clothing a second thought before going out? Wondering if perhaps it could be sending the "wrong message"?

No, but please understand you're asking someone who has a "Jesus was a cunt" Cradle of Filth T-shirt.

Exactly-you haven't ever thought if your jeans were too tight, if your shirt was too low cut. I get that you are wearing this bad ass T-shirt and don't care what others think, but that is not what I was asking.

I assume that most of the women here are bad ass and it wouldn't matter what they wore and they wouldnt' take shit from anyone. I wasn't taught to be a bad ass growing up so I had to learn in my adult life. (And I say these things with admiration to the women by the way)

I worked in a city 2 years ago where prostitution was prevalent. There were times you did not walk down the road, and if I did I wore a jacket and a hat and walked like I had a purpose and sometimes you would still get solicited. Sometimes even the cops wanted to make sure you had a purpose to be there. It was insulting at times, I made sure they knew who I was and what building I worked in. And it didn't matter how I dressed, even if I dressed conservatively.

I love where I work now, if I go into town I can just walk down the street and I am just a person walking down the street.

The point I was trying to make BG is that you probably have never had to give these things a second thought.

[Blindgreed1]

I have an 18 year old daughter, so yeah, I've thought about it quite a bit. It's also why I posted this thread.