Dirty Limerick thread

[Lady Cop]

roses are red

violets are blue

that wasn't my breathalyzer

you just blew!

[F.U.]

There once was this sinister broad

She worked with the cat and the dog

If you jump on her shit

Her back hand you would get

And your senses it surely will jog .

[F.U.]

There once was a gal named Jackboots

She would bust you for smoking a hoot

But when she tipped her glass

And wiggled that ass

In your pants a big load you would shoot .

[Lady Cop]

very good ones F.U. !

[F.U.]

There once was a asshole named choad

Lived life on dumb fuck mode

While raising their grade

A small concession was made

By swallowing the professor's whole god dam load .

[F.U.]

If you look at Miss Poopy Pants

Your eyes will hurt with 1 glance

It's true you will see

Shes just that dam ugly

That fucking a dog's her last chance .

[F.U.]

There once was this guy named O.P.

He lived in the land with a Queen

An asshole he was

Probably fucked his own cuz

While he hid behind his computer screen .

[F.U.]

There once was this insulting forum

Newbies sign up then we just floor them

One thing there was clear

It was that Maggot's a queer

And if he lived in LA they would Whore him .

[F.U.]

F.U. can rhyme a bit too

Don't like it well he says Fuck You

He don't give a shit

You dim witted twit

Kiss my ass and lick my books too .

[Maggot]

I think you meant boots.

[BlueTiki]

There once was a girl named Ann Heiser
Who swore no man could surprise her
But Pabst took a chance
Found the Schlitz in her pants
And now she's preggo, Budweiser!

[username]

There once was a Mocker named Dick
His avatar was that of a spic
His postings were absurd
His thinking disturbed
But then he's the resident prick

[IMaDick]

There once was a Mocker named Dick
His avatar was that of a spic
His postings were absurd
His thinking disturbed
But then he's the resident prick

Not bad!

[username]

There once was a man name of Frank
His breath reeked of garlic and stank
If church he did go
his wife would him blow
and then he had God left to thank


Dammit, I've got limerick on the brain now.

[username]

There once was a lady named Cracker
She's tough as a football linebacker
She's witty and smart
and tears men apart
but lady is not a dick packer


Okay, i'm so done. lol.

[Cracker]

There once was a lady named Cracker
She's tough as a football linebacker
She's witty and smart
and tears men apart
but lady is not a dick packer


Okay, i'm so done. lol.

Hahaha.

The last few weeks some really bad things have happened to people I care about. This cracked me up because I was just bawling a few minutes ago. Real tough I am. (That was so Yoda)

[Cracker]

There once was a man name of Frank
His breath reeked of garlic and stank
If church he did go
his wife would him blow
and then he had God left to thank


Dammit, I've got limerick on the brain now.

That was classic.

[username]

The last few weeks some really bad things have happened to people I care about. This cracked me up because I was just bawling a few minutes ago. Real tough I am. (That was so Yoda)

Sorry. Rough times suck.

[Cracker]

Sorry. Rough times suck.

I can handle my own misfortunes because I'm a tough old bird and not much of a whiner, but it fucks me up when bad things happen to good people who do what they are supposed to do. Why can't bad shit happen to fucked up people? I never quite understood that.

[Donovan]

There once was a fine lady cop,
all agreed she was cream of the crop,
and I necroe'd this thread
'cuz although she's rested,
she wouldn't want the mocking to stop.