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The Felony-Stupid Criminal File
#81
STILLWATER, Okla. -- A divorced couple in Stillwater is behind bars accused of a strange crime. The pair allegedly tried to fake the man's death to escape arrest warrants and so he could start a new life as a woman.

The couple is now charged with false reporting of a crime.
Investigators say the pair lost custody of their children after their underage daughter caught the ex-husband having sex with a blow up doll. 28

Late last month, the ex-wife Heather Davis told police she dropped off William Davis at his favorite fishing spot in Lake Carl Blackwell.

Just hours later, Heather claimed William went missing.

When the alleged lakeside disappearance story quickly unraveled, police say Heather came clean.

According to court records, she admitted, "William told her he would give up his parental rights to their children and get a sex change if she assisted him in the faked death."

"He had some outstanding warrants and there was visitation issues. So the plan was to report him missing so he could get a sex change operation. Then he could return to the family with a different identity," Stillwater police Captain Randy Dickerson said.

The couple's neighbors had plenty to say about the ill-conceived custody plot.

"Why give up your kids and mess that up to help him out? I'd have told him to jump in a lake somewhere," RC Cox said.

"That's crazy and to do this for a sex change? That's a bit ridiculous," Rhonda Williams said.

Once in jail, Heather allegedly claimed, "She went along with the plan because she wanted William out of her life."

A day after Heather's arrest, William turned himself in to police.

At first he claimed he had been robbed at the lake and that's why he disappeared.

Later he admitted that wasn't true.


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#82


I might be banging a blow up doll too if my partner looked like THAT. She looks like...oh never mind. She doesn't look good.
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#83
police PolicePolicePolice do not take kindly to donut thieves here on Cape Cod! hah

Police say masked and armed men on Cape Cod thought they were nabbing a bag of dough.

They did - just not the kind they wanted.

Three Hyannis men are facing armed robbery while masked charges after police say they robbed a Dunkin' Donuts with knives and a hatchet :O on Wednesday - and only ended up with a bag of doughnuts.

America runs on Dunkin's: But the alleged thieves don't appear to have run far enough as they were apprehended soon after.

According to police, the men demanded a paper bag that was in one of the worker's purses, mistakenly believing she was carrying cash from the day's receipts.

But police say the men never looked inside.

The men were captured on video and police were able to track them down on Thursday.

Arrested were 19-year-old Nicholas Mercurio, 21-year-old Lukas Peterson and 20-year-old Charles Iliffe.

It was unclear if any had attorneys.

The robbery is the third of its kind in the area over the past week.

Masked men robbed Blanchards Liquors in Hyannis on June 4 and a Dominos Pizza in Cotuit on June 2.



dumb, dumb 2 and dumber--->


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#84
that had to be some HUGE undies! Smiley_emoticons_shocked

BLOOMINGTON, Minn. (WCCO) – A 46-year-old woman pleaded guilty Monday to hiding a stolen mink coat in her underwear.

Stephanie Moreland was arrested by Bloomington Police after the Alaskan Fur Company reported a short mink coat was stolen by a woman who had been in the store and acting suspiciously.

Moreland pleaded guilty to one count of felony theft of property. Police say she hid the mink coat in her underwear for three days while being questioned by police in jail.

The coat was valued at $6,500.

According to police, a sales associate accused Moreland of taking the coat, but she denied it and took off. The sales associate took down Moreland’s license plate number and called police. When police located the car a short time later, they found the coat’s hanger but no coat.

They searched Moreland for weapons and booked her into jail for the weekend on possible theft charges. Three days later, a detective interviewed Moreland who admitted she stole the coat but claimed she had already sold it.

When the investigator informed Moreland he would be sending her to the Hennepin County Jail downtown, he was shocked when she lifted up her dress and pulled out the mink coat from her underwear. 28

“She had modified her underwear. She actually cut the rear of the underwear out so that from the back it appeared she was not wearing underwear and then stuffed it down the front,” said Bloomington Police Commander Mark Stehlik, at the time of the incident.

Moreland’s sentencing has been set for Aug. 8.


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#85
I bet that Mink Stinks

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#86
KANSAS CITY, Missouri - A Kansas City man faces a sexual assault charge after police say he assaulted an unconscious woman on the sidewalk during the day Wednesday. He told police, "I thought the lady was dead.” oh well, that's OK then. Smiley_emoticons_hurra3

Melvin L. Jackson, 48, was charged Thursday with a felony count of sexual assault.

At around 11:30 a.m. Wednesday, police were called to the 3400 block of Troost Avenue on a report of a rape. When officers arrived, they spoke with a witness who said she saw a man having sexual intercourse with a victim, who was unconscious, on the sidewalk outside of a vacant business.

The witness told police a man came into her business and said he believed someone was getting assaulted outside. The witness walked outside and saw the victim lying on the ground in fetal position and a man positioned over the victim with his pants and underwear around his ankles.

The witness said she confronted the suspect. He reportedly pulled up his pants and began walking northbound on Troost.

The witness said she waved down an officer on Troost and police arrested Jackson a short time later.

When police asked Jackson why his pants were unzipped, he said he touched a lady’s leg and then said, “I thought the lady was dead.”


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#87
QUE? hah

CHETUMAL, Mexico -- Police say a woman was caught trying to sneak her common-law-husband out of a Mexican prison in a suitcase following a conjugal visit.

A spokesman for police in the Caribbean state of Quintana Roo says staff at the prison in Chetumal noticed that the woman seemed nervous and was pulling a black, wheeled suitcase that looked bulky.

Spokesman Gerardo Campos said Monday that prison guards checked the bag of 19-year-old Maria del Mar Arjona and found inmate Juan Ramirez Tijerina curled up inside in the fetal position.

Ramirez is serving a 20-year sentence for a 2007 conviction for illegal weapons possession.

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#88
oh i don't know, they look pretty intelligent. Sarcastic


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A trio of intoxicated thieves allegedly stole a 14-foot stuffed alligator from a Michigan man’s home, strapped it to their pickup truck, and then went mud bogging with the flattened reptile.

The accused men were nabbed after the owner of the burgled barn followed foot and tire tracks to an area where the suspects were spotted racing through the mud with the $5000 alligator in tow. As a result, cops arrested John Sanborn, 53; Douglas Ward, 55; and Roy Griffith, 60, on a variety of criminal charges.

















































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#89
There goes three chances for me to find true happiness.
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#90
criminal masterminds---->

Philly.com

Two wasted South Jersey guys who broke into a Radnor constable's van over the weekend to take photos of themselves pretending to get arrested really did get arrested when they accidentally locked themselves inside and smoked cigarettes and spat saliva to pass the time, police said.

When an inebriated friend arrived to rescue them, he, too, was confounded by the vehicle's lock system and called 9-1-1 for help, ensuring that the men would not only get out of the locked vehicle, but also that they'd get locked right back up.

"It was un-freaking-believable," said Radnor Constable Mike Connor, whose van the men allegedly burglarized.

Radnor police said that Ryan Letchford, 21, and Jeffrey Olson, 22, both of Marlton, N.J., were attending a party at a condominium in Radnor Friday night into early Saturday morning when they wandered down to the parking lot and entered Connor's van.

Because the van showed no signs of a break-in, Connor said, he must have left the side door unlocked.

Radnor police said that the men apparently were trying to take goofy pictures of themselves pretending to be arrested, when they somehow got locked inside the van.

While stuck inside, Letchford and Olson tried to kick through the metal cage that separates the rear of the vehicle from the driver's compartment, police said.

When the men didn't return to the party, a friend went to look for them and found them in Connor's van, police said. When he wasn't able to open the door either, he called police at 3:57 a.m.

Authorities, in turn, awoke Connor.

"I came down and unlocked the doors, and 'Dumb and Dumber' pranced out of the van," Connor said. "They looked a little embarrassed."

Inside the van, officers found cigarette butts and "a large amount of saliva," police said. It's unclear why the men apparently were spitting in the van.

Both were charged with attempted theft of a motor vehicle, public drunkenness and criminal mischief, police said.



dumb and dumber hah

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#91


I saw this on the news this morning. Channel 10 interviewed the constable & it was very difficult for him to keep a straight face as he related the story.
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#92
OH SHIT, ONLY IN THE KEYS! BWAAAAAAA
what?? that wasn't a fish??
the Keys have lots of square fish. [Image: 7144a6e4b24ed82869e4.gif]

dead dumbass

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A Merritt Island videographer died in a Miami hospital Thursday after he snorted an unknown substance -- possibly cocaine 104 from a brick he found floating off the Middle Keys, the Monroe County Sheriff's Office says.

Thomas Swindal, 53, and his brother Kenneth were trolling in about 200 feet of water on Wednesday when, Detective Mark Maison said, they found what they believed to be a kilo of cocaine and brought it aboard the boat, tossing it into the bait well.

They kept on fishing and, Kenneth Swindal told detectives, he looked back a short time later and saw his brother open the package and ingest some of its contents.

He said about an hour and a half later, Thomas Swindal began to run around the boat, throw things in the water and even gaffed the engine, which fell off the boat and sank. 28

He continued acting strangely, running around with knives and pliers Smiley_emoticons_shocked so Kenneth Swindal threw all the sharp objects, as well as the package, off the boat. NEVER RUN WITH PLIERS. YOU'LL PUT YOUR EYE OUT.

Because they had no means of communication -- Thomas Swindal had tossed their cell phone off the boat hah -- and the boat lost its engine, the brothers climbed to the top of the boat and began signaling for help. A nearby vessel responded and called for help. The state Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission responded and transported the two to shore, where they were met by paramedics.

Thomas Swindal was taken to Fishermen's Hospital and later transferred to South Miami Hospital, where he died Thursday. An autopsy is planned.

The Sheriff's Office says never, ever bring aboard your boat "any object [you] suspect to be contraband." And, the agency says, "it certainly is never safe to ingest any substance if you do not know what the substance is or what the potency of the substance might be."


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#93
not criminal, just really really dumb. hah hah hah

CHANDLER, AZ - Chandler police say a 27-year-old man accidentally shot himself in the groin outside a grocery store Tuesday night.

It happened in the parking lot of the Fry's Food Store at Elliot and Alma School roads.

According to the police report, the man had his fiancee's pink pistol tucked in the front waistband of his pants when the gun accidentally fired. YEP, HE'S BAD. 79

The bullet hit the man's penis and then went through one of his legs. OW OW OW OW! 115

He was then taken to the hospital and underwent surgery.

Police said it's not clear how bad the injuries were but called them non-life threatening.


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#94
duh. asshat.


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NY Daily News
Dad, where's your car?

Try: sinking fast in Central Park, where a driver with a few father issues steered a speeding minivan into the waters of the Harlem Meer yesterday afternoon, eyewitnesses said.

"He was just going straight," said Robert Evan Flores, 17, who watched in disbelief as the teal Nissan Quest plunged into the lake. "It looked like he meant to do it. He looked like he was crazy."

After fleeing the sinking vehicle, the sopping wet driver, Anthony Romo of the Bronx, was helped up to shore by rescuers who just minutes earlier had been enjoying a summer afternoon in the northeast corner of the park.

"He said, 'My father cares more about that van than he does about me,'" recounted witness John McBride. "Then he sat down. He didn't try to resist or run. ... It was insane."

Romo, 30, also mumbled something about his girlfriend before police, firefighters and EMTs reached the scene.

Romo was alone inside the vehicle as he sped down a pedestrian path toward the water. McBride, in the park with his pregnant wife, said they had just put a blanket down when the van appeared. "He blew right by us," said McBride. "And he blew right into the lake."

Romo bailed out of the car quickly as onlookers rushed to his aid. He was strapped to a body board by emergency medical workers and taken to St. Luke's Hospital, police said.

A man who identified himself as Romo's father said last night that he got into a fight with his son earlier in the day.

The dad said he called the cops after Romo's girlfriend and her father refused to leave his apartment. Romo drove off in the 1997 Nissan Quest about noon, and his father said he hadn't heard from his son since.

"He's actually a really wonderful person," the dad said.


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#95
watch this little video with this dumbass stupid twat. i wish to hell i had been in a cruiser behind the crack ho.

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video
http://cnn.com/video/?/video/crime/2011/...truck.wesh


A Florida babysitter was charged with child neglect after taking a baby in his stroller for a ride the bed of a pickup.

According to 911 calls, several people contacted Daytona Beach police Wednesday when they saw the stroller in the back of the truck.

"It's not something you see every day," Daytona Beach police Chief Mike Chitwood told CNN affiliate WESH. "I hope they revoke her babysitting license for that. Would you want her watching your kid?"

The babysitter, Keyona Davis, 23, said in a court appearance Thursday that she had a firm grip on the stroller and that she did not realize her actions constituted neglect.

Davis' public defender had argued that the charge of child neglect was too harsh, as the baby was unharmed.

"It's only if the pickup crashes, the child will be injured or hurt," a public defender said in court.

Davis replied, "Exactly!"

Davis said she didn't realize that police would consider what she did as "negligent." good god.

"It's not like they give you a handbook or anything," she said.

Davis was released from jail on her own recognizance. Police are still investigating the driver of the truck and the baby's mother.


















































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#96
WOW! It reposted that article 3 times. And what a stupid ass!
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#97
now i have seen everything there is to see in a courtroom.

brief video here, you won't believe it! [Image: attachment.php?aid=6333]

http://cnn.com/video/data/2.0/video/topv...h.cnn.html

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There was drama in an East Texas courtroom when a 17-year-old tried to fire his attorney, then later relieved himself in front of everyone.

That was all before he pleaded guilty in a Tyler, Texas court to the charges against him.

It was quite a scene from start to finish.

17-year-old Corey Webb pleaded guilty to shooting at an intake officer. But, his mother says it's the attention center's fault for not checking his bag for the gun when he arrived last year.

After 17-year-old Corey Webb pleaded guilty, emotions erupted from his family.

"I asked for their help, they messed up with the gun and twisted that and decided to make my son, a 16 year old, responsible for this whole thing," says his mother, Marquetta Harrison.

She says Officer Walker did not do his job, and should have checked his bag that night at the Juvenile Attention Center.

Webb's grandmother contends he has a mental disorder.

"His brain had not fully developed properly and that he didn't understand consequences," says Gloria Webb.

During the trial Wednesday, Webb attempted to fire his attorney.

What happened later is more surprising.

After the jury broke for lunch, Webb unbuckled his pants and urinated in court.

His family wanted to testify, and were not allowed inside the courtroom, and they say someone sabotaged video evidence that would have changed things.

"They talked that kid into a plea. They took advantage of him. He's sick.. they tampered with security video at the juvenile attention center," says Webb.

















































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#98
ORLANDO --
It's not every day you see men, dressed as women, stuffing merchandise in their clothes and bags. Well, for employees at Jo-Ann Fabrics & Craft Store -- that's exactly what happened Sunday.

An employee told police she saw four men walked into the fabric store on East Colonial Drive at about 5:30 p.m., three were dressed as women and began taking items off the shelves and stuffed it under their clothes and personal bags.

Officers were called when employees witnessed the shoplifting, but the suspects fled before they arrived.

One of the suspects threatened an employee when confronted, saying "[Expletive], I will cut your [expletive]."

The suspects were later caught down the street during a traffic stop. Officers listed some of the items they stole as fishnet tights, green glitter tights, women's eyelashes, boas, butt pads and bra pads. 28::bantits::113 The total worth of the stolen merchandise was almost $800.

The three suspects were identified as Antonio Webb, 21, Lavell Patterson, 18, and Rashad Marsh, 19. They were all charged with grand theft and transported to the Orange County Jail. They later bonded out on a total of $3,200.


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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

"It's a whole gang of drag queens," said Amanda Marshall, manager of Jo-Ann Fabrics on East Colonial Drive in Orlando, where police arrested three suspects Sunday afternoon. "They were real upset when the police made them take their wigs off."
"We've never caught them red-handed but that sounds just like them," said Mark Sauer, the owner of the Sewing Studio Fabric Superstore on U.S. Highway 17-92 in Maitland. "In my memory, they had been coming in on Friday nights in a group. They wore makeup but I don't remember them wearing dresses."
"They'd come in and order yards of fabric at up to $39.99 a yard, stuff it in their man purses and leave without paying," Marshall said. "Oh, gosh, they could wipe out a whole section of boas in seconds…"

A man wearing a tank top and multi-color tights was spotted putting these items in a handbag: Five packs of black feathers, two packs of red feathers, two packs of red lace gloves, two packs of black red lace gloves, eyelashes, five bra pads, five butt pads, five gel inserts as well as three handbags, two boas, three pairs of costume glasses and 10 bandanas.


















































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#99
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DUH
TARRANT, Alabama -- A Tarrant man who drew attention to himself by posting an implied threat to police on Facebook is now under arrest for possession of child pornography, authorities said today.

Montigo Arrington, 34, last week posted the following status update on his Facebook page: "Has any1 else eva thought bout strappin a bomb on n walk n a police department n blowin da (expletive) up."

An anonymous source alerted deputies with the Jefferson County Sheriff's Office Street Crimes Unit, who learned that Arrington was on probation for manufacturing methamphetamine, said Chief Deputy Randy Christian.

The deputies told Arrington's probation officer, who went to his home on Waverly Street to conduct a home visit. During that visit, Christian said, the officer discovered pornographic images of children stored on his computer.

He was arrested on charges of possession of child pornography and probation violation. He is in the county jail with bond set at $20,000.


















































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Stoopid.
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