Youth and Alcohol

[username]

The tragedy of that young boy potentially drowning after being given beer by his stepfather made me think yet again about youth and alcohol. That boy's story aside...

would you ever give your underage kid alcohol? Starting at the age of 12 or so, my parents used to give us one glass of wine at special occasions (birthdays, Christmas etc.). I don't know why and I wouldn't offer it to my kids. I gather it's fairly common in Europe though.

What about when they're 16, 17...? I want my kids to know they can call me if they ever need a ride (either because they're impaired or they're with someone who's impaired). If I offer that and then punish them for it, I don't think they'll call again so I feel like I'd have to stay quiet. Is that condoning it?

I had a friend who hosted a high school graduation party for her kids (she has twins as well). She served alcohol to them and according to her, she told the other parents that there would be alcohol and they needed to arrange transportation for their kids. I can't imagine hosting anything like that but I also doubt that my kids will still be drink free at the age of 18. I'd love it if they were but...highly unlikely. I wouldn't out and out provide them with alcohol though.

Thoughts?

[Duchess]

I grew up drinking wine with meals, not full goblets but wine nonetheless, it wasn't a big deal. I went to a few graduation parties where the parents supplied the kegs, that wasn't a big deal either. I recall that all attending had to have the permission of their parents because of the drinking. I didn't hangout with a wild, thug like crowd, we were all good kids with goals, we weren't the type to be irresponsible fuckups. I think it probably depends on the kids & the parents hosting.

[Jimbone]

From a liability stand point, I'd never provide alcohol to minors. It's just a very bad idea.

[Midwest Spy]

I can only speak from personal experience.

My dad ruled with an iron fist, so I didn't partake in anything (drinking, drugs, sex) until I left home at 18.

My 19 year old son definitely did all of those things, but fortunately came out of it okay.

I wouldn't give 12-16 year old kids any booze. Maybe 17 and older, if they were with me in a controlled environment, I'd give them a beer. Definitely not swimming in a raging river.

[username]

From a liability stand point, I'd never provide alcohol to minors. It's just a very bad idea.

We have some social host ordinance laws. I'm surprised they're not more severe. It's considered a misdemeanor and fines for the first offense all told would run around $1700.

I understand what you mean about the liability though. Those social host laws came about in part because of some teens leaving a party where alcohol was served and subsequently wrapping their car around a tree. 3 died. I don't know for sure but I imagine the hosts were sued for all they were worth.

[Duchess]

some teens leaving a party where alcohol was served and subsequently wrapping their car around a tree.

Irresponsible hosting. I do a lot of entertaining & I would never let an adult get shitfaced and then leave. That's just dumb and for the hosts that do let that happen, they deserve to be sued.

[HairOfTheDog]

I took my nephew to Europe when he was sixteen. They brought Sangria to the table a couple of times when we were staying in Barcelona and I did let him have some with me, but we were traveling by train and walking a lot - minimal consumption and no driving.

Other than that, I never purchased or provided alcohol to anyone underage, but I did look the other way several times when minors were drinking in my presence. It's tough. I partied before I turned 21, but I don't like the idea of others doing it. It's hypocritical - I know, but as an adult having seen so many drinking-related tragedies and lives impaired by alcohol, I worry about the impacts.

[username]

I grew up drinking wine with meals, not full goblets but wine nonetheless, it wasn't a big deal. I went to a few graduation parties where the parents supplied the kegs, that wasn't a big deal either. I recall that all attending had to have the permission of their parents because of the drinking. I didn't hangout with a wild, thug like crowd, we were all good kids with goals, we weren't the type to be irresponsible fuckups. I think it probably depends on the kids & the parents hosting.

I'd definitely rather a parent tell me if they were going to serve booze at a party. I'd be royally pissed if I found out the parents supplied alcohol and didn't inform the other parents.

We used to always hold parties at places where the parents were away for the weekend (or sneak in our own alcohol). I'm sure there were times that the parents were there and aware of what was going on but no surprise, I don't remember them.

[Riotgear]

Since he was about 15 my old my oldest son has been able to drink as much as he wants at home supllied by me. Wouldn't you know it took the mystery and shine right off it.

Now (at 18) he rarely drinks and doesn't seem particularly interested in doing so.

Familiarity breeds contempt. Or at the very least bored disinterest. That and simple cost/benefit analysis are the foundation of my parenting effort.

God I'm fucking brillant.

[username]

Since he was about 15 my old my oldest son has been able to drink as much as he wants at home supllied by me.

What about when he had friends over?

[username]

God I'm fucking brillant.

Ironic.

[Riotgear]

Don't forget to go point out the contridiction.

[OnBendedKnee]

Since he was about 15 my old my oldest son has been able to drink as much as he wants at home supllied by me. Wouldn't you know it took the mystery and shine right off it.

Now (at 18) he rarely drinks and doesn't seem particularly interested in doing so.

Familiarity breeds contempt. Or at the very least bored disinterest. That and simple cost/benefit analysis are the foundation of my parenting effort.

God I'm fucking brillant.

Same principle, I let my stepson play around with my Glock as i stood by until he got tired of doing so. Once the curiosity was out of his system I told him that was the first and last time he would ever handle it. He shrugged and agreed. To him it was just a boring paperweight after that experience.

[Riotgear]

Since he was about 15 my old my oldest son has been able to drink as much as he wants at home supllied by me.

What about when he had friends over?

Nope.

[Riotgear]

Since he was about 15 my old my oldest son has been able to drink as much as he wants at home supllied by me. Wouldn't you know it took the mystery and shine right off it.

Now (at 18) he rarely drinks and doesn't seem particularly interested in doing so.

Familiarity breeds contempt. Or at the very least bored disinterest. That and simple cost/benefit analysis are the foundation of my parenting effort.

God I'm fucking brillant.

Same principle, I let my stepson play around with my Glock as i stood by until he got tired of doing so. Once the curiosity was out of his system I told him that was the first and last time he would ever handle it. He shrugged and agreed. To him it was just a boring paperweight after that experience.

Yes. And now he much less likely to shoot himself or someone else should he encounter a firearm in a less than ideal situation.

[sally]

I'm not all that uptight about them having a glass of wine or champagne on holidays and when we were in Amsterdam they were offered beer at every pub we went to. I told them to go ahead and have one, but they wouldn't take it. Neither one of them seem very interested in it.

As far as giving other kids alcohol, no way.

[ramseycat]

I would never supply my kids or anyone else's with alcohol. No freaking way! And I'd be pissed if my kids went to a party and the parents served alcohol and didn't tell me. Since there is a family history of alcoholism on their father's side of the family, I am very concerned about them drinking. So far my kids have stayed away from alcohol and don't really have an interest after seeing how their father turned out.

Pot is a different story though. Thing 2 is 12. One of his friends he met at summer camp smokes pot and so does his older brother who is 16. And apparently their father does too. Thing 2 knows more about pot than I do as a result of hanging out with this kid. Now I won't let him go over there. He says he isn't going to smoke it but I am very leary. He thinks it should be legal. As do I. However, legal over the age of 21 like alcohol. I think 12 is way to young to even think about smoking pot. Now a coupld of Thing 2's friends told him if he was going to hang out with the pot smoker, they didn't want to hang with him anymore. Thing 2 was pretty upset. But I told him you are known by the company you keep. Is being friends with the pot smoker worth losing your other friends? No. He feels it's unfair to have to choose and I understand that. But we are not talking about liking a certain video game or tv show. It's pot and I don't blame his friends for not wanting to hang with someone that smokes it at their age.

[Riotgear]

Fucking potheads.

[Duchess]

Youth is wasted on the young.

[pspence]

I grew up drinking wine with meals, not full goblets but wine nonetheless, it wasn't a big deal. I went to a few graduation parties where the parents supplied the kegs, that wasn't a big deal either. I recall that all attending had to have the permission of their parents because of the drinking. I didn't hangout with a wild, thug like crowd, we were all good kids with goals, we weren't the type to be irresponsible fuckups. I think it probably depends on the kids & the parents hosting.

I'd definitely rather a parent tell me if they were going to serve booze at a party. I'd be royally pissed if I found out the parents supplied alcohol and didn't inform the other parents.

We used to always hold parties at places where the parents were away for the weekend (or sneak in our own alcohol). I'm sure there were times that the parents were there and aware of what was going on but no surprise, I don't remember them.

I would do it differently if I had to do it over again. I think my husband and I were too lax but thankfully never had any serious problems. we would turn our heads if we saw them slip one at a cookout or something

I remember annoucing to 17 yr old prom kids "no drinking is allowed But i dont smell the cups" It was unrealistic to think they werent going to drink but i didnt want them flaunting it in our face.

I remember catching one of my kids at 14 sneaking some booze and I gave them a little lecture then blew it off. I would make a much bigger about it today. Research is overwhelming that if you can keep a teen from alcohol until 19 their chances of becoming an alcoholic are drastically reduced. The kids at our house were good kids with goals popular and fun loving. there were quite a few times we came home from being out of town and evidence of partying was in our garbage cans.

My daughters wedding is in 2 wks and liability issues are so huge we have taken out an insurance waiver for that one night for our protection and have a bus/van coming to take any drunks home.