AN AGE-OLD QUESTION

[JsMom]

I doubt Tiki's up for directing the porno version of Sound of Music. I'm out. You might still be able to get aussie to do it though; wave a bowl of extra buttery popcorn in front of her - that might close the deal.

"Shaving Ryan's Privates".

[HairOfTheDog]

I see where you're trying to go with this, MS. I doubt Tiki's up for directing the porno version of Sound of Music. I'm out. You might still be able to get aussie to do it though; wave a bowl of extra buttery popcorn in front of her - that might close the deal.

You is cruisin' for a bruisin'. The popcorn is for my guests, not me.

Hey now, I was just trying to ensure that you'd be fairly compensated by MS.

You said that your special buttery popcorn is "to die for". I figured if you're willing to die for it, you'd be willing to play Maria to MS's Captain Von Trapp for it (unless you consider that a fate worse than death).

I think you should be fair to MS and yourself and seriously consider the porn opportunity, aussie. A paid singing gig, lots of exposure, co-starring with a man who considers you to be as appealing as Jodi Arias, the chance to don pleather in your one clothed scene, AND buttery popcorn made especially for you... Could be a dream come true.

[aussiefriend]

If you can get Joel Osteen on-board, I'm in.

[Duchess]

He's dainty, Aussie. Yuk.

[Midwest Spy]

HotD, I can't tell if you're helping or hurting my cause.

[HairOfTheDog]

Jesus, aussie. You're talking all down and dirty with MS in the "prayer" thread, and now you wanna lure the weepy televangelist into your sordid pursuit of porn stardom?

Well, you are definitely the natural choice for Maria Von Trapp if MS decides to scrap the "Boogie Nights" project and seriously comes through on "SOM/S&M"...

[aussiefriend]

He's dainty, Aussie. Yuk.

Yes, but he's right for the part.

[HairOfTheDog]

HotD, I can't tell if you're helping or hurting my cause.

I'm working both sides of the fence. Pimping for you whilst serving as personal agent to the up-and-comer porn star known as "aussiefriend". No conflict of interest, really, and two commissions.

So, let's wrap this up. You've almost got aussiefriend on board for your porn adventures. I think I helped you there.

All you need to do to make it final is drop the Boogie Nights project (which I was personally looking forward to seeing) so that you can focus sincerely on the SOM project - especially Maria's character development. If you do that, plus add some religious element to the porn-musical in order to attract Mr. Osteen, you've got a deal.

Get back with us.

[Midwest Spy]

HotD, I can't tell if you're helping or hurting my cause.

I'm working both sides of the fence. Pimping for you whilst serving as personal agent to the up-and-comer porn star known as "aussiefriend". No conflict of interest, really, and two commissions.

So, let's wrap this up. You've almost got aussiefriend on board for your porn adventures. I think I helped you there.

All you need to do to make it final is drop the Boogie Nights project (which I was personally looking forward to seeing) so that you can focus sincerely on the SOM project - especially Maria's character development. If you do that, plus add some religious element to the porn-musical in order to attract Mr. Osteen, you've got a deal.

Get back with us.

I'll be interested to find out Aussie's level of desperation, er... um, interest.

Or, could another young Mock starlet be waiting in the wings to jump on board if Aussie decides to take her talents elsewhere?

It's all so riveting!

[HairOfTheDog]

Sorry MS.

Just got a call from ALW. He wants aussiefriend to star as Mary Magdalene in the 2013 revival of Jesus Christ Superstar. Joel Osteen is on-board to play Judas Iscariot. It's an offer we can't refuse.

I'm sure there will be Mock starlets lining up for your porn productions and wish you great success.

So, how DO you solve a problem like Maria? Recast, I think...

[Jimbone]

Hehe. Penisaurus.

[Midwest Spy]

How do you catch a cloud & pin it down?

How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?

I can hardly stand that I'm quoting The Sound Of Music. Ooohh god.

You DO bear a striking resemblence to the Reverend Mother.

You DO bear a striking resemblence to the Reverend Mother.

Muthafucka!

The Sound of Music Cast (Mock characters):

Captain Von Trapp- Midwest Spy (fairly obvious)
Maria- HotD
The Baroness- Username
Uncle Max- O.B.K.
Rolfe- Cracker
Liesl- Ramsey
Friedrich- the Kid
Kurt- Clang
Brigitta- NrKerr
Marta- Heartbreaker
Gretl- Older Than Dirt
Reverend Mother- Duchess
Herr Zeller- ESAD
Sister Margaretta- Sally

Edit: BTW, I can't wait to see Cracker and Ramsey doing '16 going on 17' together.

You're gayer than Sphincter Cop, I never even watched that stupid musical to know who the characters are.

It may lean to the 'Artsy' side, but Captain Von Trapp laid a ton of cable.

Maria was a ball-bustin' bitch, IRL.

Trapp was a henpecked, slip of a man.

I've never watched The Sound of Music.

They leave out the part where she was bangin' Trapp before they were married.

She popped out a kid two months after the nuptials.

That's the problem they were trying to solve.

Maria liked the wild thing.

I've never watched The Sound of Music.

Who would want to? "Oh hey guys, you want to come over and watch the Sound Of Music, no we're gonna stay home and stick our dicks in the meat grinder".

I believe NBC is broadcasting a live version of the Sound of Music this week.

Thought I'd try and revive this old thread.

Again, Sally is freakin' hilarious.

[Duchess]

The Reverend Mother! I want to kick you all over again.

[Midwest Spy]

The Reverend Mother! I want to kick you all over again.

She had a set of lungs on her.

Oh...

She could sing too.

[Cynical Ninja]

Sorry, MS, my porn days are over too; two was enough.

Rambone wasn't so bad. But, Charlie's Anals was a total pain in the ass. Never again.

Anal sex is overrated its fucking shit... literally.

And according to spy it hurts like buggery apparently.

[HairOfTheDog]

I believe NBC is broadcasting a live version of the Sound of Music this week.

Thought I'd try and revive this old thread.

Again, Sally is freakin' hilarious.

For real, the live version this week?! Thanks so much for the heads-up, MS.

Hey, that multi-post thread summary was keen. Good luck with your thread revival attempt, dork.

P.s. I don't think sally's gonna raise her hand to be your Maria either, even to hold onto that coveted slot at the top of your fuck chain, no matter how sincere your compliments. Just a hunch.

[Midwest Spy]

I believe NBC is broadcasting a live version of the Sound of Music this week.

Thought I'd try and revive this old thread.

Again, Sally is freakin' hilarious.

For real, the live version this week?! Thanks so much for the heads-up, MS.

Hey, that multi-post thread summary was keen. Good luck with your thread revival attempt, dork.

P.s. I don't think sally's gonna raise her hand to be your Maria either, even to hold onto that coveted slot at the top of your fuck chain, no matter how sincere your compliments. Just a hunch.

So I'm watching NBC's live broadcast tonight, and I couldn't help hearing Sally's voice in my ear over and over:

'you're gayer than Sphincter Cop.'

Sally... No I'm not.

I love sports, I love having sex with women AND I love The Sound of Music.

After my initial disappointment that Carrie Underwood is no Julie Andrews and 'whatever his name was' is no Christopher Plummer, I decided to just enjoy the storyline and, of course, the music.

I'd give it a 7 out of ten. The acting was average, but all of the cast members could really sing.

Not sure another network will try this again in the future, but I'm glad NBC did this time.

[crash]

Christopher Plummer never actually sang Edelwiess; Fact!

He was the original Milli Vanilli..

[Midwest Spy]

Christopher Plummer never actually sang Edelwiess; Fact!

He was the original Milli Vanilli..

Interesting. I did not know that.

I'm a Plummer fan in his role as Von Trapp because of his acting not necessarily his singing. In fact, he sang Edelweiss one time too many in the movie. He first sings it in the family room and then at the music festival. Should've skipped the first one.

[Duchess]

After my initial disappointment that Carrie Underwood is no Julie Andrews and 'whatever his name was' is no Christopher Plummer, I decided to just enjoy the storyline and, of course, the music.

I was listening to the news the other morning and people have been giving that girl shit for taking on this role. She wasn't trying to be Julie Andrews, she wasn't trying to impersonate her in any fashion. She was told to make the role her own and that's what she did but of course, most of America, like you, weren't able to discern that.