Should this child have been born?

[BlueTiki]

Children are a gift.

Yeah.

This one was first refused and then re-gifted.

[username]

I personally would abort a baby that had heteropaxy and holoprosencephaly since babies with that condition are usually vegetables, that is if they don't die shortly after birth. But she was born and she is thriving and for both the bio and surrogate to ditch the poor baby is disgusting. I think they're all scumbags.

Agreed. Scumbags. But I'm not sure about the thriving part. She's still at risk of dying and there's only a 50% chance she'll ever walk or talk.

Apparently they all visit her. As I said earlier, I have a huge amount of respect for the people that adopted her. They're the heroes in this.

[ramseycat]

She was carrying an embryo from the couple that paid her. She was only a surrogate.

I feel the couple had the right to make the decision regarding the abortion, the surrogate was nothing more than an incubator.

You have a point. Logically. However, there is nothing logical about a pregnant woman and the attachment she has with the baby she is carrying. Even if its not her own. I imagine having to make a decision such as this to be torture. Add in emotions and hormones and a mothers instinct. I'd like to think that I could put my own desire for a baby aside and only consider what kind of life the baby would have in making the decision.

[username]

She said she immediately changed her mind but I wonder if she would have gone through with the abortion for the $15k she asked for. So much for a surrogate's love.

[Duchess]

You have a point. Logically. However, there is nothing logical about a pregnant woman and the attachment she has with the baby she is carrying. Even if its not her own. I imagine having to make a decision such as this to be torture. Add in emotions and hormones and a mothers instinct. I'd like to think that I could put my own desire for a baby aside and only consider what kind of life the baby would have in making the decision.

This ^^^^^^ is based on emotions. It's my feeling that's why there was a contract, a legal obligation. This was a "deal" for which the surrogate was paid. It wasn't her child & I don't feel she had a right to make the decisions that she did, she entered into this willingly and she agreed to the terms of the contract.

[sally]

I personally would abort a baby that had heteropaxy and holoprosencephaly since babies with that condition are usually vegetables, that is if they don't die shortly after birth. But she was born and she is thriving and for both the bio and surrogate to ditch the poor baby is disgusting. I think they're all scumbags.

Agreed. Scumbags. But I'm not sure about the thriving part. She's still at risk of dying and there's only a 50% chance she'll ever walk or talk.

Apparently they all visit her. As I said earlier, I have a huge amount of respect for the people that adopted her. They're the heroes in this.

Yeah I already edited thriving out after I thought about it for a second. She doesn't look like she has a severe holoprosencephaly, so I hope she does well. If you have ever seen pictures of babies born with holoprosencephaly it could be much much worse.

[Duchess]

This one was first refused and then re-gifted.

Neither the genetic parents nor the surrogate deserve her, they created this fiasco, I wouldn't want to give them any courtesy. That baby deserves a loving home for however long she lives.

[ramseycat]

You have a point. Logically. However, there is nothing logical about a pregnant woman and the attachment she has with the baby she is carrying. Even if its not her own. I imagine having to make a decision such as this to be torture. Add in emotions and hormones and a mothers instinct. I'd like to think that I could put my own desire for a baby aside and only consider what kind of life the baby would have in making the decision.

This ^^^^^^ is based on emotions. It's my feeling that's why there was a contract, a legal obligation. This was a "deal" for which the surrogate was paid. It wasn't her child & I don't feel she had a right to make the decisions that she did, she entered into this willingly and she agreed to the terms of the contract.

A pregnant woman's emotions and hormones make it practically impossible to have a contract. I don't agree with what the surrogate did. But then again I don't know what I would have done in her shoes either. I just know that when I was pregnant there was nothing more important than the baby I was carrying.

[BlueTiki]

A pregnant woman's emotions and hormones make it practically impossible to have a contract.

Isn't that special?

We're now intellectually incapable of thought while pregnant.

Those poor dears applying for or renewing their insurance contracts while "with child"!

I hope their man was with them to explain all of those confusing details.

OMG!

Who helps the ones knocked-up by the darkies?

Oh wait . . . they don't have insurance.

[ramseycat]

Blue, when it comes to making the decision to terminate a pregnancy yea most women have a hard time separating emotion from logic. It was not intended as a blanket statement that women cannot function at all while pregnant.

BTW, I'm white. My ex-husband is white. We had insurance. So....um.... yea not sure what your point was there....

There is a lady on the other board I'm on that is pregnant with twins for a gay couple. I think it's a wonderful gift she is giving these gentleman.

[BlueTiki]

Blue, when it comes to making the decision to terminate a pregnancy yea most women have a hard time separating emotion from logic.

BTW, I'm white. My ex-husband is white. We had insurance. So....um.... yea not sure what your point was there....

The thought of terminating my pregnancy NEVER entered my mind.

So . . . I gather you are speaking from a termination experience?

My point was: One less "valid" contract worry for a specific demographic.

[ramseycat]

Blue, when it comes to making the decision to terminate a pregnancy yea most women have a hard time separating emotion from logic.

BTW, I'm white. My ex-husband is white. We had insurance. So....um.... yea not sure what your point was there....

The thought of terminating my pregnancy NEVER entered my mind.

So . . . I gather you are speaking from a termination experience?

My point was: One less "valid" contract worry for a specific demographic.

No, I have never terminated a pregnancy. I did have a miscarriage though. I am pro choice however abortion as a means of birth control is not my choice. I'm just happy I never had to face the decision because the baby had serious medical issues.

[Sphincter Cop]

It's so much easier to buy a puppy........

[BlueTiki]

It's my feeling that's why there was a contract, a legal obligation.

I'll be damned.

Just found out that Surrogate Contracts are not enforceable in Arizona.

Maybe in Michigan, too?

[Duchess]

That would have been one of the first things I checked.

[BlueTiki]

Whooda thunk an Underground Railroad for surrogate moms?