The Felony-Stupid Criminal File

[Jezreel]

Ouch!!! See karma is a bitch

His only job was to guard the doors while his gang members robbed the bank.
But even that simple task was too much for the latest contender for the unwanted title of world's clumsiest bank robber.
For as his criminal colleagues held up the cashier in the small bank in Parana in Brazil he managed to drop his aim and fire off a round into his own foot.

The clumsy robber can be seen in CCTV footage from the bank holding two guns at the entrance as his partners take a money bag.
At first it appears that he is on top of his crucial role until he lowers his right arm and shot himself in the foot.

He was then seen limping out into the street.
But he was unable to avoid capture as he was arrested when he appeared at a nearby hospital for treatment.
Police are still hunting for the rest of the gang who managed to flee with $16,000.



Video at link also
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-...shier.html

[Lady Cop]

WPTV
TAMPA, Fla. - A man who tried to ambush his estranged wife at a Carrollwood apartment complex near Tampa Monday morning wound up setting himself on fire, according to a Hillsborough Sheriff's investigators.

Deputies responded to a report of a disturbance at the Countrywood Apartments at 12401 Orange Grove Drive around 7 a.m.

Sheriff's spokesman Larry McKinnon said the man, 50 year-old Matthew Wong, whose listed address is in Wesley Chapel, had staked out the area to wait for his wife to show up.

When she did, he attempted to douse her with a flammable liquid, but she was able to get away. A neighbor grabbed 46 year-old Gloria Davis and pulled her into a nearby apartment for her safety.

At that point, Wong was heard to scream out, "I'm gonna kill you," and proceeded to try and ignite bushes near the building, but wound up setting himself on fire.

"It was like instantly," said neighbor Amy Jo Akert. "Literally, he was instantly engulfed in flames."

He was badly burned and was taken to Tampa General Hospital, McKinnon said.

[JsMom]

wtf!

[Lady Cop]

WPTV5

MARTIN COUNTY, Fla. — Not even the tasty General Tso's chicken could hide the stolen jewelry placed inside a plate of Chinese food by three men and a teen wanted for burglary in Melbourne, a Martin County Sheriff's Office arrest report states.

About 1:30 p.m. Tuesday, the Melbourne Police Department issued an advisory to law enforcement to be on the lookout for suspects in a residential burglary. The thieves got away with a $1,000 digital camera and jewelry worth $500. Witnesses gave police a description of the four suspects and their vehicle, a silver Chevrolet Traverse with a Tennessee license plate.

About 4 p.m., a Martin County Sheriff's deputy on southbound Interstate 95 at mile marker 102 saw a vehicle with men inside who matched the description on the advisory. After stopping the vehicle, the deputy saw the digital camera in the back of the SUV, the report states.

After getting a search warrant for the vehicle, deputies found the loot on the front console inside a takeout plate of Chinese food, sitting on top of the chicken, fried rice and egg roll.

Deputies charged the driver, Michael King, 19, of Lauderhill, and passengers Henry Mims, 20, of Lauderhill, and Lavretzky Dareus, 18, of Sunrise, with grand theft.

[Lady Cop]

this guy is going to be hard to track down and ID.






CHESTERFIELD COUNTY, Va. (WTVR) - A man who appeared to have two prosthetic legs is wanted for attempting to rob a Virginia drugstore, according to a press release from Chesterfield County police.

Police said the man entered a CVS Pharmacy on Midlothian Turnpike near Buford Road Saturday night and handed the pharmacist a note demanding prescription pills.

The man left the store without the receiving the pills, police said.

Police described the suspect as a black man, 5'6" tall and 130 pounds. (WITH LEGS)

Police said he wore a dark gray, hooded sweatshirt, black shorts and a blue knit cap.

Police asked anyone with information Chesterfield County Police Department at 804-748-1251 or Crime Solvers at 804-748-0660 or text the code tip699 with the tip and send to 274637 (CRIMES).

[Lady Cop]

Sun Sentinel
CORAL SPRINGS, Fla. -- Status update: It was bad idea to steal a judge's nameplate and then post a picture of yourself holding it on your girlfriend's Facebook page.

That's exactly what Steven Mulhall, 21, of Coral Springs, is accused of doing.

Mulhall posted the photograph of himself holding the stolen nameplate, which was pried from the door of Broward Circuit Judge Michael Orlando courtroom on Natalie Coma Toze Segura Facebook account, according to arrest records.

Deputies picked Mulhall up on Thursday and booked him into Broward County's Main jail.

"The nameplate is like only $40, not that big of a crime, but what an idiot. He puts it on Facebook," said Broward County Sheriff Al Lamberti. "Here he is flaunting it on Facebook. He violated the terms of his parole by stealing, from a judge he appeared before no less. He's got multiple convictions for petty theft, so now this is a felony."

Lamberti said deputies picked up Mulhall after verifying the suspect had appeared before judge Orlando. The judge's nameplate was pried from the door around Feb. 23, according to the arrest report. A tip to Broward Crime Stoppers led authorities to Mulhall.

"The tipster gave us his address, name and the Facebook page," Lamberti said.

"We got the nameplate back. It will be returned to the rightful owner."

[ramseycat]

what an idiot.

[Lady Cop]

KRDO

GRAND JUNCTION, Colo. -- A 49-year-old Grand Junction man who said he shot a woman in the head when he mistook her large red Mohawk for a fowl that had been harassing his cats, has been sentenced to five years probation.

Derrill Rockwell told police he fired one shot at what he thought was a bird sitting on a hill near his home Oct. 5, and soon after, he heard a woman moaning in pain.

Prosecutors said the "bird" turned out to be a 23-year-old woman who may have been sleeping on the hill. Her injury was not life threatening.

Rockwell was sentenced Friday for felony possession of a weapon by a prior offender. Prosecutors said the woman, who is believed to be a transient, has left Colorado and could not be reached to testify.

[SIXFOOTERsez]

Now THATS funny

[LuciferLynn]

I yam what I yam and thats all that I yam.....a serial killer http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/0...-plea-deal

[Lady Cop]

AK
this man tried to rob a gas station with hot dog tongs.





video
http://cnn.com/video/?/video/crime/2012/...obbery.cnn

[Lady Cop]

got gas?





A Kentucky man was cuffed this week after he allegedly siphoned gasoline from a police car and posted a photo of his crime to Facebook.

Coal miner Michael Baker, 20, flipped the bird in the photo, which made the rounds on the social-networking site and eventually into the hands of the police department.

[Lady Cop]

Associated Press
DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. — A 29-year-old man whose baggy shorts kept him from fleeing police officers is now facing prison time.

The Daytona Beach News-Journal reports Marvin Leonard Morris Jr. was found guilty Tuesday on multiple felony charges, including trafficking in cocaine and attempting to flee or elude officers.

According to an arrest affidavit, Morris crashed into a tree after speeding away from a Daytona Beach police officer who was trying to make a traffic stop. That's when Morris tried to run away. But officers say his baggy shorts fell down around his ankles, causing him to trip.

[Lady Cop]

unfit dumbasses.


FoxTampa
SARASOTA - A Sarasota couple is accused of taking their 7-year-old granddaughter on a very dangerous ride.

The sheriff's office said the grandparents tied a toy car to the back of their SUV and started towing the little girl! The grandfather is in jail; the family is trying to raise the $850 he needs to get him sprung.

His wife, the grandmother, was able to make bail and she told us, in a word, what they did, was stupid.

"Stupid idea," said Belinda Jean Berloni. "Stupid idea, I agree, I agree."

The 47-year-old grandmother admits it was not the best idea to entertain her granddaughter by pulling her around in a toy car.

"We took this and hooked it around the hitch of the truck and drove about five miles an hour up and down the street with her," she explained, holding-up two dog leashes, which were still connected.

She and her husband, 49-year-old grandfather Paul Berloni, had had a few beers.

"Yeah, we did, it's Sunday afternoon, had a few beers, no big deal, I didn't think," she said.

But a Sarasota County sheriff's deputy saw it differently.

"Paul Berloni told the deputy that he has five prior DUIs, I haven't confirmed that number, but I know the charge is for his 4^th or subsequent DUI," said Wendy Rose, with the Sarasota Sheriff's Office.

Paul Berloni was also driving with a suspended license.

The grandmother told us she had already made three or four runs up and down the access road, pulling their granddaughter behind them, in that toy car, using a couple of dog leashes connected together. And they were just about to make their last run, when the Sheriff's deputy stopped them.

"So, were you surprised when the police stopped?," we asked. "Yes! Yes!," she exclaimed. "Well, I thought they were just gonna tell us we couldn't do it. Give us a warning, say, hey, this isn't very safe, maybe this is not a bright idea."

Belinda Berloni said she was sitting with her legs dangling out the back gate of their SUV, just a few feet from her granddaughter. Deputies said the little girl was wearing a bathing suit, no protective gear and no helmet. Luckily she was not hurt.

Berloni said she never felt she was in any danger.

"No," said Berloni. "She was all woot! woot! woot! the whole time anyway!," she said, pumping her fists in the air.

Both grandparents face child endangerment charges. Belinda Berloni is on supervised release and is to have no contact with her granddaughter and no drinking. She also has to check in with the sheriff's office three times a week.

"We're just grateful that that child wasn't injured," said Rose.

And so is the grandmother.

"I love all my grandchildren," said Berloni. "I would never put them in harm's way."

Belinda Berloni told us her son is understandably mad at her for what happened, but she said, it was truly, a lesson learned.

[Lady Cop]

ick

HuffPost
Drivers pulled illegal U-turns just to catch a glimpse of Ashley Holton, witnesses said.

The 35-year-old woman was arrested on May 26 for masturbating on Highway 484 in Ocala, Fla.

A witness told authorities that Holton had slowed traffic for more than 30 minutes before deputies arrived, the report said. The witness also said that honking car horns only seemed to encourage her.

When a Marion County Sheriff's Deputy approached her, Holton pulled up her shirt and bra, "exposing her breasts and bra," according to the report.

Holton was arrested and taken to the Marion County Jail. When an officer attempted to put pants on her, the report said Holton kicked and bit her. Holton described her chomping as "a love tap," the report stated.

Holton's alleged antics didn't stop once she had entered the jail, where she "continued to resist the officers by spreading her legs, exposing her vagina and telling the officers to kiss her there and refusing verbal commands to cooperate," according to the report.

Holton, who the report said may have been under the influence of alcohol, was charged with exposure of sexual organs, battery on a law enforcement officer, resisting an officer and disorderly conduct.

[sdtay]

Oh lc...I got so much crap for living near Toledo that I packed up and moved. To....drum roll....near ocala, where they apparently have masturbating hags and vampires. I feel so much safer

[Lady Cop]

Oh lc...I got so much crap for living near Toledo that I packed up and moved. To....drum roll....near ocala, where they apparently have masturbating hags and vampires. I feel so much safer

oh gawd no...that's where all the redneck trailer trash pill heads are! you poor thing!

Ocala has nice horses.

[sdtay]

I didn't think it could be worse than Ohio...hello eye-opener.

[Lady Cop]

I didn't think it could be worse than Ohio...hello eye-opener.

well it could be worse, you could have moved to Palatka...cummings country. ron and misty. and the whole gang.

http://mockforums.net/thread-3911.html?h...gh+cummins


i look forward to the stories you're going to tell! hahahaha

[Lady Cop]

A traffic officer in Colorado took a picture of a toddler in diapers sitting next to a gas can that was strapped into a car seat and posted the image on the Colorado Department of Transportation’s Facebook page.

The Aurora officer was apparently conducting a Click It or Ticket search at checkpoints last week and came across the car. The boy’s parent behind the wheel apparently told police that the boy managed to do it himself. The officer apparently didn’t buy the story and handed the parent three citations.

The Denver Channel reports that Colorado law states that children under 8 must be in a child safety seat when inside a car. Under the law, there’s a minimum $82 fine per violation.



the mom who was driving