Tales from the Frontline: Online Dating

[cannongal]

I know people get lonely and bored and I guess they want someone to spend time with or bump uglies with and what not, but that crap isn't for me.

Well yeah, your married,  and have been married since you were 12.    

People have busy lives these days,  so unless they want to go hump a wombat like Aussie does, they turn to dating apps.

[aussiefriend]

I dont date wombats! A wombat eats, roots, and leaves. You can go and look up what 'roots' means yourself.

[Piglet]

I agree Cannongal that i should never agree with you. As for kissing your arse, thats a subconscious wish on your part, erotica that personally i did put out of your range. I dont know what chapstick is, i assume you are experienced in the rear end approach to physical relations.

Im surprised by your vehemence, have i done something to upset you? Mind you, i have gone out of my way to upset everyone. Intuition tells me that i might need heavy lifting equipment to clear the way if i ever get to the point of performing. As for two stars i think ive earned it.

What do you think Mark? You have a holiday home in Spain then.

[BigMark]

I think you should devour her mud pickle, with relish.

[cannongal]

I agree Cannongal that i should never agree with you.  As for kissing your arse, thats a subconscious wish on your part, erotica that personally i did put out of your range.  I dont know what chapstick is, i assume you are experienced in the rear end approach to physical relations.

Im surprised by your vehemence, have i done something to upset you?  Mind you, i have gone out of my way to upset everyone.  Intuition tells me that i might need heavy lifting equipment to clear the way if i ever get to the point of performing.    As for two stars i think ive earned it.

What do you think Mark?  You have a holiday home in Spain then.

There's a lot to unpack in this statement.   I feel like you've flunked reading comprehension more than once in your lifetime.   I'm sorry that your country doesn't value education,  proper dentistry or individual thoughts. 

Peephole/pudding/Ninja was a genius compared to you. 

Your obsession with weight suggests that you need a crane to get anywhere.   

Your obsession with stars suggests that you never got any in lower schools. 

Meh

[GirlBoss]

I didn't like dating when I was dating. I'm not good at it. 

I don’t think anyone’s good at it. I certainly have no idea - just trying to be genuine and realize likely a lot of swings and misses.

Tried to get my mind off all the true crime, hopefully not becoming a true crime myself lol.

[Duchess]

Well, I find you very cute & charming so I imagine you're even better in person. 

You remind me of someone I am quite fond of.

[GirlBoss]

Well, I find you very cute & charming so I imagine you're even better in person. 

You remind me of someone I am quite fond of.

Beyond nice - thank you so much - needed that boost as I’m about to get ready for date 2 - happy hour/comedy club.

I am sure we’d be friends Irl.

[rothschild]

I dont date wombats! A wombat eats, roots, and leaves. You can go and look up what 'roots' means yourself.

The munter from down under.

[BigMark]

Well, I find you very cute & charming so I imagine you're even better in person. 

You remind me of someone I am quite fond of.

she is nothing like me.

[Duchess]

she is nothing like me.

  You're a funny fucker. That's what I say in my head every time you make me laugh.

[sally]

You remind me of someone I am quite fond of.

Well tell them I said hi.

[BigMark]

Hello!

[MirahM]

Sooo many comedians in this thread.

[Piglet]

Cannon gal, ill be with you in a moment. Mark, i see you as a man of the world, with a lot of experience, especially in mud, how do i go about it? Im sure i have in the past, when overcome by lust. What do i need to keep in mind, hard slow, gentle? invasive?

Cannongal, i accept your proposal, but i must ask you to wear a corset, as i dont want any flying buttresses covering my airway with no hope of finding air again. I shall arm myself with a small pair of sewing scissors so i can cut a hole in the corset when i am in range. Surely your negative attitude towards me will not result in me being a white face, with white eyes, becoming a brown face with white eyes.

Trust will need to be built first.

Thank you.

[BigMark]

He puts the lewd, in crude.

[GirlBoss]

Second date with E was ok.
He kept getting calls about players in transfer portal - which is fine/nature of the beast - but not great for date lol.
I like him. I think. He’s pretty stand up guy it seems - really guarded though. Has gap in front teeth which I think is hot. ( Michael Strahan/David Letterman type gap)
I think we need time to get to know each other. But I wouldn’t be surprised if just fizzles either.
Time will tell.
Comedy show was great. He said I’m a lot more social than he is and causing him to get out of comfort zone. Not sure if that’s a good thing or bad thing. Hard to read.
Unexpectedly ran into a coach he works with on way to show - and then the other coaches started calling/texting him - so I guess dude he knew must have told the rest of the crew about catching him on date.
He asked me if I had dates set up with other guys this weekend. Fair question. I don’t right now.
I think we’re both protecting ourselves rn - trying to decide if willing /worth it to actually get vulnerable.
Dating is so fun.

[BigMark]

What did you wear?

[MirahM]

When the other coaches called and texted did he answer back? I would find that to be annoying. But he sounds super nice.

[Donovan]

I never had any sort of luck with profile dating until this last one, and the chemistry was immediate and lasting. Then, I never had any luck with traditional relationships either, as some here well know.