Mock

Full Version: The NEW and IMPROVED utterly fucking pointless thread
You're currently viewing a stripped down version of our content. View the full version with proper formatting.
Hey! Someone is breaking into my neighbors house!

They look like...................................



















































............Eskimos! ::lmao::
LMPP, did you remember the vino ?

LuMPyPussy

Duchess Wrote:Oh but they're weird and they're wonderful
Oh Bennie she's really keen
She's got electric boots a mohair suit
You know I read it in a magazine
B-B-B-Bennie and the Jets
I thought of speed when I saw the word. :Blush:

LuMPyPussy

Duchess Wrote:LMPP, did you remember the vino ?
Sure did! Did you know they make boxed French wine now? It's quite good.

The Antagonist

Bennies are the tourists who clog up the Jersey Shore every summer.

They are nicknamed Benny or Bennie which is short for Beneficial Tourist.

There's even a website. It's gotten a lot more tame since it's first launch. I think they were forced to tone it down and make it a pride in NJ kind of thing instead of bashing Bennies.
They found a way to combine it.

Native New Jersyans are still some of the most moronic people I've ever encountered.

http://www.bennygohome.com/home.html

LuMPyPussy

From Urban Dictionary:





bennies
[url=javascript:void(0)]250 up[/url], [url=javascript:void(0)]60 down[/url][url=javascript:void(0)][Image: thumbsup.gif?1248390801] [/url][url=javascript:void(0)][Image: thumbsdown.gif?1248390801] [/url]



The term BENNY originated from the letters of the train stations on the Jersey Shore line where annual toursit come down to the shore and mess up everything between Memorial day and Labor day.
(B)ayonne
(E)lizabeth
(N)ewark
(N)ew (Y)ork

Locals can spot a BENNY from miles away. They're ususaly of Italian decent, mostly from New York, they ask the dumbest things like "Which way is the beach?" and "What do you guys do during the winter?", they can't drive for shit, they think they're sweet, they crowd out beaches, malls, and basically our entire lives. They know only the major roads to get to the shore + home, they think it's cool to come down for the weekend, go to one of the 50 clubs on Ocean Av., trash the state and leave on Sunday. The cops all come out after Memorail day and hunt for the New York plates until Labor day, they pay WAY to much for a shack a block away from the beach, they can't handle a Jeresy Girl nor do they know just how good of a state New Jersey is.

Best of all, they have no fucking idea what a 'Benny' is.
Benny (Pulling over a few blocks away from the shore): "Hey bro, which way's the beach?"

Local (pointing west towards Newark): "That way." (mumbling under his/her breath) "Go home fucking benny..."

The Antagonist

I live 14 mile from the bay, and the beach is on the other side of the bridge - about a mile and I haven't been to the beach during Benny season since 1999.

Right now, we have accounts with CCTV on the boardwalk, we can open a browser and Benny Watch all day long from our computer screen.

We try to avoid Bennies by going to Island Beach State Park and getting a beach buggy permit and take the truck directly on the sand - away from tourists.

And yeah, the only time we see Guidos is in the summer around here.
Here, we just call 'em assholes.

They come to tour the plantation houses, see the route for the underground railroad, watch the migrant workers & whisper, slaves and then there are the ones that pack tour buses for a ride through horse country, they are the worst, no respect for no trespassing signs or ones' property and they ALWAYS think it's ok to jump a fence to pet a horse, THEY are part of the reason we have security...Assholes, every last one of them.

The Antagonist

If I had your size property I'd have dogs running for 'security'.

Here if someone jumps your fence to pet a horse and gets hurt by the horse, fence, stupidity, YOU are actually liable. It's called an attractive nuisance. Does not matter if your property is properly marked no tresspassing.
The Antagonist Wrote:I'd have dogs running for 'security'.
Cowboy tried that years ago & when the dog bit the trespasser he got sued...People are so fucked up, why they feel entitled to go onto someone elses space is beyond me, I wouldn't dream of doing anything like that unless I was invited to do so...If they get hurt, we are responsible...People know there is a horse pool here & think they can just come in at any ol' time, can you imagine if a kid drowned in there...Jesus Christ...The freakin' stable is wired with cameras & alarms so, nothing has happened in quite some time now.

LuMPyPussy

I just sent an email to the 'commanders action line' on base. I'm probably gonna get reamed if they track it back to me, but jesus fucking christ, read this and decide I'm wrong:

Quote:XXXXX XXXXXX, a young woman that works as a PMT in Bldg XXX, is having a lot of personal problems and so far this week, management has had her hauled out of the building by security police three times, twice in handcuffs.

Suicide prevention is a hot topic right now and this poor woman has been seriously abused by stupid supervisors. I want this investigated and help given to XXXXX, not punishment.

Thank you.
Fuckers. Smiley_emoticons_stumm

The Antagonist

Isn't it amazing how a dumb animal with a brain the size of a walnut has more respect for a fence than the supposedly more intelligent human?

The Antagonist

LuMPyPussy Wrote:I just sent an email to the 'commanders action line' on base. I'm probably gonna get reamed if they track it back to me, but jesus fucking christ, read this and decide I'm wrong:

Quote:XXXXX XXXXXX, a young woman that works as a PMT in Bldg XXX, is having a lot of personal problems and so far this week, management has had her hauled out of the building by security police three times, twice in handcuffs.

Suicide prevention is a hot topic right now and this poor woman has been seriously abused by stupid supervisors. I want this investigated and help given to XXXXX, not punishment.

Thank you.
Fuckers. Smiley_emoticons_stumm

Didn't two people recently suicide where you work too?

You'd think they would be a little more willing to figure out WHY this is a trend where you work instead of strong-arming people out of the way.

Got a feeling they know the problem but are too chicken shit to do anything about it.

LuMPyPussy

The Antagonist Wrote:Isn't it amazing how a dumb animal with a brain the size of a walnut has more respect for a fence than the supposedly more intelligent human?
My cats have brains the size of walnuts and they don't respect fences at all except as scratching posts. ::dunno::

LuMPyPussy

The Antagonist Wrote:
LuMPyPussy Wrote:I just sent an email to the 'commanders action line' on base. I'm probably gonna get reamed if they track it back to me, but jesus fucking christ, read this and decide I'm wrong:

Quote:XXXXX XXXXXX, a young woman that works as a PMT in Bldg XXX, is having a lot of personal problems and so far this week, management has had her hauled out of the building by security police three times, twice in handcuffs.

Suicide prevention is a hot topic right now and this poor woman has been seriously abused by stupid supervisors. I want this investigated and help given to XXXXX, not punishment.

Thank you.
Fuckers. Smiley_emoticons_stumm

Didn't two people recently suicide where you work too?

You'd think they would be a little more willing to figure out WHY this is a trend where you work instead of strong-arming people out of the way.

Got a feeling they know the problem but are too chicken shit to do anything about it.
Yeah, just in the past month. They're dropping like flies here, it's even been noticed by the local media.
LuMPyPussy Wrote:They're dropping like flies here
How are you feeling...mentally ? ::bigg::

LuMPyPussy

I'm the kind of person that would go after the person harassing me rather than hurting myself. :Angel:

But I'm fine. Life is good.
LuMPyPussy Wrote:I'm the kind of person that would go after the person harassing me rather than hurting myself. :Angel:
That's exactly as it should be...Good girl !

The Antagonist

LuMPyPussy Wrote:
The Antagonist Wrote:Isn't it amazing how a dumb animal with a brain the size of a walnut has more respect for a fence than the supposedly more intelligent human?
My cats have brains the size of walnuts and they don't respect fences at all except as scratching posts. ::dunno::

I was referring to horses. If you cat's brain was the size of a walnut he'd be some kind of kitty genius. Cat brains are much smaller.

Besides, cats do not count - they make their own rules.
MF, is this your new avatar?

[Image: th_babes.jpg]