Mock

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I'm cooking a 22 lb. turkey for game day. Please God, don't let me fuck it up.

4 hours and 15 minutes and you'll be good to go.

Are you stuffing it? If so, just add an hour.

(09-07-2012, 06:38 AM)Duchess Wrote: [ -> ]

I'm cooking a 22 lb. turkey for game day. Please God, don't let me fuck it up.

I love to imagine God taking time out of what must be his very busy schedule to see to it that your turkey comes out great for a football game.

(09-07-2012, 10:23 AM)Jimbone Wrote: [ -> ]I love to imagine God taking time out of what must be his very busy schedule to see to it that your turkey comes out great for a football game.

Look pal, God doesn't give a rip about me & my turkey cooking ways any more than he gives a rip that I mutter his name in the throes of an orgasm.

Jim, I'm cooking it tomorrow for sandwiches Sunday. I'm having a buffet. I can handle the turkey, I just had a moment where I wondered aloud, I've only ever cooked one on my own. I'll be fine given I don't have to stand right there and watch & wait, THAT'S how I become distracted.

(09-07-2012, 11:57 AM)Duchess Wrote: [ -> ]Look pal, God doesn't give a rip about me & my turkey cooking ways any more than he gives a rip that I mutter his name in the throes of an orgasm.

Sure, but it's still super funny to imagine.

While I do believe in God I don't believe he's a mystical man who lives in the sky & is watching my every move.

(09-07-2012, 12:02 PM)Duchess Wrote: [ -> ]

While I do believe in God I don't believe he's a mystical man who lives in the sky & is watching my every move.

That's no fun. I like to imagine an incredibly powerful, super-crazy old man that seesaws back and forth between gentle care for you and your turkey and groundless deep hatred for random folks sitting down to watch a Batman movie.

That Honey Boo Boo kid is butt ugly...just sayin'.

(09-07-2012, 12:10 PM)Duchess Wrote: [ -> ]

That Honey Boo Boo kid is butt ugly...just sayin'.

= Crazy Old Man God

The Soup called her mom a human thumb.

RG, do you surf?

(09-07-2012, 02:20 PM)Duchess Wrote: [ -> ]

RG, do you surf?

Nah, I'm afraid of sharks.

Spet the morning at emergicare with my oldest for what I suspected to be a brown recluse bite. Since he isn't sick, the doctor isn't positive it was a brown recluse, but the wound is very similar to a brown recluse bite wound in the way of damage and appearance. He did a culture and the results will be back in 3 days. In addition to the spider bite, he also has an ear infection, pink eye and contricted airways bc his asthma is flaring. He's the only kid I know that goes to the doctor for one thing and it turns out there's a myriad of things wrong. He's in his room resting now and waiting for the pharamcy to call and say they got all his meds together. According to him, the worst part of all of this is no swim team or team sports for 10 days.

What are the symptoms of a brown recluse spider bite? It doesn't sound good. Not good at all.

Nasuea, vomiting, fever, malaise....he has none of those. But the wound is atrocious.

(09-07-2012, 02:22 PM)Riotgear Wrote: [ -> ]
(09-07-2012, 02:20 PM)Duchess Wrote: [ -> ]

RG, do you surf?

Nah, I'm afraid of sharks.

I'm not so much afraid of sharks as I am from getting bitten by one.

(09-10-2012, 01:44 PM)LuciferLynn Wrote: [ -> ]the wound is atrocious.

What exactly does that mean? Oozing noxious body fluid yuck?

Image a volcano growing out of your arm spewing forth hot lava. it continues to grow until you seek medical treatment.

That's what it is like.

Continues to grow. Whoa.

Seriously. Your arm falls off, eventually and then you slowly proceed to die.

Please, seek medical help if bitten. Don't be a hero.

OBK! That is exaggerating! LOL

Duchess

Jimbone

Riotgear

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Riotgear

Duchess

Riotgear

Duchess

Riotgear

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Riotgear

LuciferLynn

ramseycat

LuciferLynn

OnBendedKnee

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OnBendedKnee

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OnBendedKnee

ramseycat